you had such a vision of the street;

  1. reality check.

    it highly offends me when people criticize working mothers because i don’t “stay at home”. working mothers do way more than “stay at home moms”. i work, cook, clean, take care of my children including nursing one of them. just because i don’t “stay at home” doesn’t mean i love my children any less. the term “stay at home” is incredibly out dated. this isn’t the 50’s. i don’t belong in the kitchen, cooking dinner in a dress & pearls. it’s fucking 2012 & i can’t afford to stay home, play house, & sit on my ass crocheting. 

    working mothers, can i get a woop woop.

    2. 4 months ago 0 notes

  2. signs that your neighbors might be drug dealers.

    Signs that your neighbors might be drug dealers, murderers, or down right scoundrels. By Brittany Kantack.

    1. their apartment smells like straight up weed. which results in your apartment smelling like weed.

    2. they don’t have jobs but have big ass screen tvs & nice things.

    3. they try to give your husband tons of mens clothing, shoes, hats, & other things.

    4. they have been spotted dumping mens clothing in the dumpster with other people’s names & name tags on them.

    5. they have new cars every couple of months.

    6. they go on trips to miami frequently.

    7. they come home from said trips with scratches & bruises all over their body.

    8. random people are in & out of their apartment at all hours of the night.

    9. neighbor carries around a black backpack.

    10. neighbor is seen in a vehicle with a random person & acts suspiciously after being spotted.

    ALL OF THESE THINGS HAVE HAPPENED TO ME! i swear i am not crazy. mike doesn’t believe me at all. he thinks i’m a crazy old lady spying on the neighbors. 

    3. 7 months ago 0 notes

  3. weird.

    i keep having reoccurring dreams about this house i’m “moving into” or live in currently. the layout is always the same & really specific. there is this wing of the house where mike’s mother used to live [in my dream]. i have never met mike’s mother because she passed away before i got the chance to meet her.

    the entrance to the separate wing of the house starts off with a den. in the den there is a broken computer desk that me & mike used to own & two green couches that used to be my parents. the lights aren’t on but there is light coming from the window where pale green curtains are hanging. & there is a staircase leading up to the top floor of the house. there isn’t any electricity for the staircase or this top floor. it’s really dark & i remember using a flashlight to see the doors, they might have been labeled but i don’t remember.

    there is a long hallway with different rooms that i never go into. the only door i go into is all the way at the end & it’s her office. this room is strangely lit & i walk into it & i am hurriedly looking around like i’m going to get in trouble for being there. she has a desk with a laptop & the tv is on.  i remember going through the drawers of her desk one time but i don’t remember what was in them. there’s a fish tank that is on with live fish in it. & i think a diary of some sort on the table. in my dream it’s like she never died & she is on her way home to return to this office.

    i’ve had this dream several times. the rest of the house is pretty boring, & when i dream about the other rooms of the house i’m normally just cleaning them. i don’t always go upstairs, but when i am at “home” in dreams, it’s always this house & it’s always known in my dream about the upstairs half. or sometimes i’ll walk past the staircase that isn’t lit & kind of look at it & walk away as if i am not allowed there. 

    weirdest dream ever considering i don’t know a whole lot about mike’s mother. he doesn’t talk about her & when i ask about what she was like he doesn’t really answer the question. 

    4. 11 months ago 0 notes

  4. list of shit Jude has broken.

    I really wish I had pictures to document all these things. At the time of him breaking them, I was too busy what the fuck-ing or just overall freaking out to think about documenting the moment. I now look back & kind of laugh, because I can’t wait to tell this little shit when he gets older that he was a terrorist.

    1. 36 inch 1080p sony tv. The tv was over a thousand dollars when we bought it in 2008. It was the first tv we purchased as a couple & Mike’s pride & joy. Before we were smart enough to mount it, we had it in a entertainment center. While we were both cooking, Jude decided to take his sippy cup & crack the screen. We heard the noise, but just associated it with him breaking one of his toys & then finally made the terrible discovery.

    2. Dell flatscreen computer monitor. This was a graduation present I got from my parents in 2006. I really don’t remember the story behind it, but we now have a water bottle holding up the monitor because the base of it is cracked & will not support the weight of the monitor. There are also several spots with dead pixels because he decided to throw, kick, whatever at the monitor.

    3. Camcorder. I don’t remember the specs of this. It was given to us by a friend & we literally had it maybe 5 minutes before Jude turned it on, did something to it & it no longer worked. 

    4. A motherfucking toilet. Jude flushed a plastic screw driver down our toilet. We were terrified to tell our landlord that we knew he had done this. We hid it for a couple weeks & then we were notified that something was clogging up EVERYONE’S toilets in our apartment complex. She then hired a company to come out & check all the toilets. It was discovered that our toilet was causing the problems & we ended up paying 150$ to fix the problem.

    5. An outlet in his room. He was playing in his room one day being quiet. I just assumed that he was being good. He comes running out saying he doesn’t have a light in his room. I flip the switch & the light isn’t working. So I ask Mike to change the light bulb. He changes it & the bastard is still not working. That’s when I discover A HUGE BLACK DISCOLORATION ON HIS WALL COMING FROM AN OUTLET. I don’t know what he put into the outlet or how he is still alive. I know that he had to remove the safety plugs we put in to shove something in it. Which I believe are also adult proof because those bitches are hard to get out. He blew a fuse in his room because he was trying to die or something. The outlet doesn’t work anymore, I’m terrified of using it anyways. 

    6. Every fucking chair we own. We now only have one chair to our dining room table because Jude likes to unscrew the bolts from the chairs & discard them all over the house making it impossible to find. One chair was literally smashed to a pulp when Mike stood on it to change Jude’s light bulb from the outlet situation. Mike stood on it, it crumbled to shit pieces beneath him.

    7. A newly purchased baby monitor for Bryden. This really wasn’t broken, but Jude did take a sharpie to it & colored pretty much all over the base & two detachable monitors while Mike was “paying attention” to him one day.

    8. Baby toys attached to Bryden’s car seat. These were thrown out of the window of our car one day on the way to Franklin. I had JUST bought them.

    9. Flip flops. He took his shoes off & threw them out the window also.

    10. Finger nail polish. While painting his toe nails one day while Mike was yet again giving his 100% attention to him, he decided to crack one of the bottles of my favorite nail polishes. I still don’t know how he managed to do this. I keep all my nail polishes in our medicine cabinet which is packed full of shit & when I open the cabinet, they fucking fall out at 100mph & don’t break. 

    11. Cell phones. I made this plural because I honestly don’t remember how many he has broken or severely damaged. He has a collection of broken cell phones in his toy box, which all used to be ours at some point.

    12. A box fan. We all sleep with fans in our rooms because we live on a busy street & our neighbors are really fucking loud. Jude somehow took the screws out of the fan & put a hot wheels car in there. He then decided to turn it on & it busted one of the blades.

    13. Linoleum floor. We had a small tear in the linoleum floor of our old apartment. I went to take the trash out & Jude decided to take the baby gate down, & tear the floor to pieces. When I came back, Jude bolted for his room & shut the door. My first thought was “AWWWWWWW HAIIILLLL NAWWWW. WHAT DID HE DO?”.

    I’m sure there are more things he has broken. This is actually the first time I have sat down & really thought about the curse of Jude. I know that he can be cute sometimes, but if he ever asks to hold your camera/phone/baby/whatever- say no, because he will break it.

    5. 11 months ago 0 notes

  5. list of ways to induce labor.

    I’ve compiled a list of supposedly “proven” ways to induce labor. Included are some medically proven ways, as well as wives tales. I’ve rated them in 3 categories: true, untrue, & what the fuck. I’ve also included if I have tried said method.

    1. Sex. True. When a female has an orgasm, oxytocin is released, which is the same chemical that also helps contract the uterus. Semen also contains prostaglandins which help thin out the cervix. It kind of makes me giggle because sex is what got you in this situation, & sex is what will get you out of it. I have tried this method, it worked with Jude to progress labor. So far it has not worked with Bryden.

    2. Nipple stimulation. True, but only slightly. Oxytocin is also released which causes contractions, but you’d have to sit there & go at it for quite awhile to stir anything up.

    3. Castor Oil. What. The. Fuck. Castor Oil is used in the same way that ipecac is. The idea behind it is to stimulate your bowels, because when you are taking a really big shit, you are using the same muscle as if you were having a baby. Basically you just throw up a lot & shit everywhere, which is not something I am interested in what so ever. Have not tried this, am not stupid enough to.

    4. Raspberry tea. Not true. It helps to ease labor & cramping pains, but does not bring on labor. I have not tried this.

    5. Walking. True. The idea is to stay up right so the babie’s head will press against the cervix causing it to dilate more which brings on contractions. If your body is ready, this method will help. Otherwise you’re just going to make yourself really tired. I have tried this method. It worked with Jude but so far has only given me braxton hicks contractions with Bryden.

    6. Wearing your favorite underwear will help water break. What the fuck. In case you haven’t realized, I’m kind of knocked up. Those favorite panties are no longer a part of my everyday thought process. I’ve taken to granny panties the last few weeks because those are the only things that seem to fit over my big ol’ ass. Even if those favorite panties were still in play, how the hell does that do anything. I have obviously not tried this bullshit.

    7. Walking up stairs. True. Pretty much the same as walking, but more hardcore. It’s like P90x for the knocked up.

    8. Pumpkin Pie. What the fuck & not true. I was told that something in pumpkin pie helps things a long but not told what exactly does the trick. Is it pumpkin? the crust? no one knows, because this is complete dog shit. But hey, I’ll still take some pie anyways.

    9. Swallowing semen. Not true & what the fuck, but more importantly the what the fuck. This theory was obviously created by a man who thought he was being clever. The idea is that the semen will help dilate the cervix better when ingested than during sex. The acid in your stomach will obviously destroy any potential benefit from the semen. I have not tried this, no swimmers enter my mouth region.

    Basically, I’m willing to try anything reasonable that does not involve shitting, throwing up, or putting on too tight panties. If you have any more ideas, slang em at me because this baby has got to go.

    6. 11 months ago 0 notes

  6. cross out what you’ve done.

    I have/had piercings besides the ears.

    I want piercings besides the ears.

    I have many scars.

    I tan easily.

    I wish my hair was a different color.

    I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.

    I have/want a tattoo.

    I can be self-conscious about my appearance.

    I have/had braces. 

    I have more than two piercings.

    Disney movies still make me cry.

    I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.

    I’ve glued my hand to something.

    I’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose.

    I’ve had my pants rip in public.

    I’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt.

    I’ve gotten stitches.

    I’ve broken or dislocated a bone.

    I’ve had my tonsils removed.

    I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.

    I’ve had chicken pox.

    I’ve been to Florida. 

    I’ve driven/ridden over 200 kilometres in one day.

    I’ve been on a plane.

    I’ve been to Colombia.

    I’ve been to Cuba.

    I’ve been to Niagara Falls.

    I’ve been to Ottawa

    I’ve been to the Caribbean.

    I’ve been to Europe.

    I’ve gotten lost in my city.

    I’ve seen a shooting star.

    I’ve wished on a shooting star.

    I’ve seen a meteor shower.

    I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas. 

    I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.

    I’ve slapped someone.

    I’ve kissed someone underwater.

    I’ve chugged something.

    I’ve crashed a car.

    I’ve been skiing.

    I’ve been in a musical.

    I’ve auditioned for something.

    I’ve been on stage.

    I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.

    I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.

    I’ve pranked someone.

    I’ve ridden in a taxi.

    I’ve been threatened to be arrested.

    I’ve broken a law.

    I’ve done something I promised someone I wouldn’t.

    I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.

    I’ve sneaked out.

    I’ve lied about my whereabouts.

    I’ve cheated while playing a game.

    I’ve been in a fist fight.

    I’m afraid of dying.

    I hate funerals.

    I’ve seen someone/something die.

    Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.

    I have attempted suicide

    I’ve thought about suicide before.

    I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

    I own over 5 rap CDs.

    I’m obsessed with anime/manga.

    I collected comic books.

    I own a lot of makeup.

    I own something from Pac Sun.

    I own something from The Gap.

    I own something I got on E-Bay.

    I own something from Abercrombie.

    I thrive on compliments.

    I thrive on hate.

    I can sing well. 

    I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.

    I open up to others easily.

    I watch the news occasionally or always.

    I don’t like to kill bugs.

    I sing in the shower.

    I’m a morning person.

    I’m a sports fanatic.

    I twirl my hair.

    I care about grammar.

    I love spam.

    I’ve copied more than 30 CDs in a day.

    I bake well.

    My favorite color is either white, blue, red, black, purple

    I would wear pajamas to school.

    I like Martha Stewart.

    I laugh at my own jokes.

    I eat fast food weekly.

    I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a class.

    I can’t sleep if there’s a spider in the room.

    I’m really ticklish.

    I like white chocolate.

    I bite my nails.

    I’m good at remembering faces.

    I’m good at remembering names.

    I’m good at remembering dates.

    I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

    I’ve lost weight.

    I’ve gained weight

    I’m at my thinnest

    I’m at my biggest

    I’ve lost weight and kept it off.

    I’ve lost weight, but gained it back

    My weight affects my mood.

    I diet. 

    I’m vegan/vegetarian.

    I exercise.

    I’ve fainted from exhaustion 

    I’ve sworn at my parents.

    I’ve planned to run away from home before.

    I’ve run away from home.

    My biological parents are together.

    I have a sibling less than one year old.

    I want kids.

    I’ve had kids.

    I’ve lost a child.

    I’m in a relationship.

    Im single. 

    I’m engaged.

    I’m married.

    I’m a swinger.

    I’ve gone on a blind date.

    I have/had a friend with benefits.

    I miss someone right now.

    I have a fear of abandonment. 

    I’ve gotten divorced.

    I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.

    Someone has had feelings for me when I didn’t have them back.

    I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.

    I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.

    I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

    I’m a cuddler.

    I’ve been kissed in the rain.

    I’ve hugged a stranger.

    I’ve kissed a stranger.

    I regularly drink.

    I can’t swallow pills

    I can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty.

    I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression at some point.

    I have/had anxiety problems.

    I shut others out when I’m upset.

    I don’t have anyone to talk to when I’m upset.

    I take anti-depressants.

    I’ve slept an entire day before.

    I’ve plotted revenge.

    I’ve taken revenge.

    7. 11 months ago 0 notes
  7. [Flash 10 is required to watch video]

    kwelimoyo:

    gailweasley-is-a-gleek:

    a-mortentia:

    kurtandblainelove:

    ravenclaw-gleek:

    klainespinkglasses:

    ohyeahgreysonchanceyeah:

    justinbieberismyinspiration:

    tumblr’s newest victim you guise.

    omg seriously.

    my ears are bleeding, what is this fuckery?!?!

    omg please no

    WTF?! O.o

    WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK !?

    what is air

    LMAO WHAT THE FUCK.

    LOL.

    oh wow.

    are you fucking me-___-

    She said it’s raining outside tho, so how could the sun be up and be a beautiful beautiful day?

    WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY

    REBECCA BLACK DOESNT KNOW WHICH SEAT TO TAKE AND NOW THIS. SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOHHHHH

     “I wanna go outside” = BITCH UR ALREADY OUTSIDE.

    hahaha new rebecca black i guess

     wait what kind of day does she want? I COULDN’T FUCKING HEAR HER THE FIRST TIME! >=/ this pissed me off

    holy shit! srsyl what the heck is this?!?

    My Mom Is Baking CoOOOkies

    I THINK REBECCA BLACK SINGS LIKE SHIT BUT THIS…

    Girl what you should do is fix your puffy ass hair -.- ! 

    Not against her, but the comments just makes me laugh so hard, seriously.

    OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMGOMGOGMOGMOGMOGMOGGMGOMGOMOMGOMGOMGOGMGOMOGMGOMG HOLLY. THIS WAS THE ONE I WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT I COULDN’T FIND. THE ONE WHERE SHES LIKE MY MOM IS BAKING COOKIES~

    I know that she’s young,k? But she’s so dumb,i mean,she’s like ’ a beautiful beautiful day’ and like’ i don’t know what to do ’ and also like ’ i wanna go outside ’ i mean , girl if it’s a fucking beautiful day and you don’t know what the fuck do, and you wanna go outside,just GO bitch,go out with your fucking friends and do bother me bitch,and i don’t give a fuck if your mom is cookin,omfg,this is NOT acceptable.

    wait…didn’t she say it was raining? yeah I’m confused. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe XD

     what the fuck is this fuckery? MY MOMS BAKING COOKIES. LOLLLLLL

    OH GOSH!

    I did not just see that.

    I think I lost some brain cells

    image THE. FUCK. IS. THIS.!?

     Why did I watch this whole thing?

    “The rain has stopped now”

    BITCH THERE WAS NO RAIN

    hey Rebecca bb i missed you.

    WTF .

    THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE, RIGHT?

    (Source: floridian)

    8. 11 months ago 41456 notes

  8. anxiety.

    i have a feeling that things are going to start looking up soon & that everything will be ok, but at the same time my anxiety has been so bad these past weeks that my compulsions are getting worse. i feel like i need to be constantly doing something to alleviate the stress. since i am unable to work i really don’t have any choice but to sit around & contemplate the situation which just makes my anxiety level higher. so i clean, i organize, i take showers, & wash my hands. i feel guilty constantly so i force myself to sleep. i can’t wait for this hard chapter to be over. we have faced problems in the past, i just can’t go through this again. i am hoping that things work out in our favor, i will be devastated if the outcome is otherwise..

    9. 11 months ago 0 notes

  9. disappointed.

    When I was pregnant with Jude, everyone was so excited. I had a baby shower, we got plenty of congrats & our families were really excited for him to come. This pregnancy, we haven’t gotten any sign of our families being even remotely happy for us, I didn’t have a baby shower, only one person actually got Bryden a gift. I think every baby needs to be celebrated, & I feel like I am the only person in this world who is genuinely excited for Bryden to be here.

    My parents absolutely don’t know anything about this pregnancy. I’m not even sure if they know his name. I sent my mother an ultrasound picture & she never said anything about it. I understand that Jude was my first & that my parents were happy to be grandparents but the fact that they have shown zero interest in my second child makes me incredibly sad for him. I want him to be loved & to come into a loving environment & that’s hard to accomplish if I am the only one showing the love.

    I hate to sound like a whiner or complainer & I in no way am complaining about not getting any “gifts”. I don’t know, maybe this bedrest shit is just making me depressed. All I know is that I am excited for him to be here, I love him so much already without even knowing him. I guess that’s all that matters..

    10. 12 months ago 0 notes

  10. how depressing.

    11. 12 months ago 0 notes

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